Tips for writing your memoir

There’s no denying that writing your memoir is challenging. It’s a huge project that’s likely to provide no small amount of frustration. But stick with it, and it will prove to be one of the most fulfilling things you do. Follow these top tips to help the process move a little more smoothly.

A trap that’s very easy to fall into when writing is assuming your reader knows everything you do. When writing your memoir, this is especially important to remember because the characters you introduce will likely mean nothing to your readers. A childhood friend or work colleague will need to be properly introduced. But it’s not just people. Places, concepts and technical concepts can all use contextualisation. Don’t be patronising, but just a few words can be the difference between your reader being drawn along in the flow of your story, or being torn out of their immersion as they try and work out who this person is and what you mean.

Compare the following.

‘I called on Dave, who told me the cam belt had snapped.’

‘I rushed next door to see if Dave, who is a retired mechanic, was in. He took one look and told me the cam belt had snapped, and I wouldn’t be going anywhere until the garage opened tomorrow morning.’

The second provides a huge amount more. It tells you why Dave’s opinion matters, where he came from, and the peril caused by the cam belt snapping. Without this, you’re left wondering if Dave is right, and if he is, what does this mean?

Constantly thinking about what and what doesn’t need explanation can make the writing process more difficult. If this is the case, try and approach your proofreading as though you were reading someone else’s work, and add detail where necessary.

Although related, an autobiography and a memoir do different things. An autobiography is the account of a life, often from the beginning to the time of writing. A memoir is a record of a period, place or experience.

William Goldman begins his book, Which Lie Did I Tell: More Adventures in the Skin Trade, with:

I don’t think I was aware of it, but when I started work on Adventures in the Skin Trade, in 1980, I had become a leper in Hollywood.

Let me explain what that means: The phone stopped ringing.

We have the impression that this book is largely going to cover 1980 onwards, and why Goldman had become a leper in Hollywood.

In Stephen King’s book, On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft, he begins:

My earliest memory is of imagining I was someone else—imagining that I was, in fact, the Ringling Brothers Circus Strongboy. This was at my Aunt Ethelyn and Uncle Oren’s house in Durham, Maine. My aunt remembers this quite clearly, and say I was two and a half or maybe three years old.

Here, we understand that we’re going to be taking a look at King’s journey through life, starting at the very earliest point he can remember.

There’s no right or wrong. It’s your book, after all. But make the choice consciously, and stick to it through your writing process.

This is easier said than done, but it’s true. Every writer stares at a blank page at some point or other, unable to get words out. The trick is to write something. It doesn’t have to be good, it doesn’t have to be something you’re going to keep, it just needs to be on the page. Once it’s down, it can be edited and shaped into something worth keeping, or, if not, at least you’ve broken that barrier, and something good will come.

A memoir requires a lot of writing, so limiting those frozen moments and consistently making progress will make the process a lot more enjoyable.

If you’ve already tried writing your memoir or are unsure where to start, I can provide support and assistance. Whether that’s doing the writing portion for you, or helping you with the planning or structure, I can’t wait to hear about your project. Contact me for a no-obligation chat.